<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Drowning ~The Healing Powers of Dude Fanfic~ by orphan_account</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22854352">Drowning ~The Healing Powers of Dude Fanfic~</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Healing Powers of Dude</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Drama, Family, Fluff, Friendship, High School, Hurt, Mental Illness, Recovery, Relapse, Social Anxiety, Therapy, coolness, grade nine, hopd, i don't know why, i dont even know why im still writing tags, im sorry, im the first one on here writing a fic about thopd, mental health, noah ferris - Freeform, pls enjoy, so that's cool I guess, the healing powers of dude - Freeform, thopd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 18:28:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,668</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22854352</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Noah Ferris has Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) and has been slowly getting better since his first appearance at a public school. Now 14, he is starting Highschool. Everyone thinks he is getting better, except Noah. After his graduation, he seemed better than ever. But as feelings of intense anxiety begin to resurface, he reverts to old habits. A new therapist, friends, family, and school trips, this book will take you on an exciting adventure about relapse, recovery, and relationships.</p><p>In other words, something for you to enjoy and for me to put my feelings on paper. Er, online. Enjoy!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Authors Note</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A/N Skip this if you’d like, just saying some stuff about the story :). This is going to take place when Noah is entering his first year of high school, grade 9. I’m going to write Noah’s social anxiety like I experience it, so it may not be exactly how Noah would experience it. Everyone experiences social anxiety differently, so if you have SAD and want to suggest something, feel free to. I find it super therapeutic to write about how I’m feeling, so I guess this will be kind of like my therapy haha. Anyways, this is my first fic so let me know what you think and enjoy!</p><p>A little about the author, if you’re interested: I’m a 14-year-old living in Canada. I have SAD, like Noah (although I don’t have an emotional support animal, just my cats), and that’s what got me into watching thpod. Fun fact(s) I play the flute, I curl and I like to write.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“And that’s it for the video my lovelies! Good luck in highschool! And remember, it’s not as scary as it seems! Byeeeee.” The video stopped and the little replay button appeared on the screen. Noah took a deep breath and shut his phone off. He flopped back on his bed and shut his eyes. I can do this. It’ll be just like- His thoughts stopped abruptly as anxiety tightened around his chest. Nopenopenopenope I cannot do this. I just won’t go to school ever. I- I- as his breath quickened, a slobbery tongue found it’s way to his face.<br/>	“Du-u-uude!” He chuckled “Ew, I don’t wanna smell like dog slobber when I get to school!” He placed dude on his lap and started stroking him.<br/>	A picture on his nightstand caught his eye. It was him, Amara and Simon at their grade eight graduations. A smile graced his lips as he recalled the fond memories. “You’re right dude. I can do this” He was quick to correct himself. “We. We can do this.”<br/>	He snatched his backpack off the floor and headed down the stairs, dude following close behind.<br/>	“Hey bud, you excited for today?” Noah’s dad asked. He poured some milk and cereal into a bowl and handed it to Noah.<br/>	“Um, I guess. I’m a little nervous though.”<br/>	Although Noah’s dad, Marvin, seemed satisfied with the answer, Noah’s mom could see right through the lies. “Don’t worry sweetie, it’ll be just like middle school. Just a little bigger-”<br/>	“And more crowded, more expectations, and basically dictates where the rest of your life will be going. No biggie.” Embry added as she skipped into the kitchen<br/>	“Y-yup. Just like that.” Noah concentrated on his bowl, trying to avoid the oncoming panic attack. His grip on the spoon was tight, too tight. His whole body was tense as he tried to escape the anxious feeling. It felt like he was in the middle of the ocean, the water lapping up against his head, trying to pull him down. Dude whined and pawed at his leg, pulling him from his panic.<br/>	“Embry!” Noah’s mom, Karen, scolded. “That’s no way to comfort him!” She turned towards Noah. “Look at me, honey, everything is going to be just fine. Remember your first day of grade six, how you couldn’t even make it into the school? Now, remember your graduation, how confident you felt walking onto that stage? You’ve come so far from your first day of middle school, you’re going to do great in high school.”<br/>	“Yeah, what she said,” Marvin added.<br/>	Noah’s mom rolled her eyes and turned to grab her purse. “You guys ready?”<br/>	“Wait! Which purse says, I rule the school, you all have to obey to me?” Embry held up two sparkly bejeweled purses. One was turquoise and royal blue, sequins over the snakeskin saying, I’m a boss. The other was black with hot pink sequins covering the exterior.<br/>	“That one.” Their dad pointed to the hot pink one.<br/>	Embry nodded and tossed the hot pink on aside. “Guess I’m taking this one!” She strode out the door, backpack slung over one shoulder and purse in her left hand.<br/>	Marvin scoffed sarcastically, “Nice to know my opinion matters to you!” He shouted playfully as the door shut behind her.<br/>	Karen laughed and put her hand on his chest. “Come on, let’s get going.” She leaned up for a quick kiss, then started for the door. Noah grabbed his backpack off the floor and followed behind, the interaction taking away some of the heaviness in his chest. He bent down to attach Dude’s leash before leaving the comfort of home. He clipped it on with a snap and then closed the door behind him.</p><p>                                                                                                                       *****<br/>	They arrived at Noah’s school first. His mom stopped the car and turned around in her seat. “You’ll be ok. You can do it,” she said, trying her best to comfort him.<br/>	“Your mom’s right,” Marvin said, “It’ll be just like middle school.”<br/>	Noah looked at their encouraging smiles. They wanted him to do this so badly, so he would. He pushed down the anxious feelings and managed to give them a half-smile.<br/>	“There you go! Have a good day! We love you!”<br/>	He stepped out of the car with Dude held tight in his arms and looked at the huge school in front of him. Roosevelt seemed pretty insignificant compared to, this. The architecture was light brown and blocky with windows in the front. There was a little overhang over the double doors where students were reuniting, catching up and telling stories about summer break. A couple of buses were lined up on the other side of the drop-off loop. The two-story building seemed daunting and scary. He was about to take the first step when a tap on his shoulder made him jump.<br/>	“Pssst.” Whew, it was just Embry, “Come here!” She hissed. She grabbed Noah’s arm and pulled him off to the side.<br/>	“Look, don’t listen to mom and dad. What they’re saying is all bullcrap. High school is nothing like middle school. Social life matters, and so does schoolwork. There’s drama, friends drift apart. Don’t look at me like that. I’m just telling you like it is.”<br/>	He was taken aback by Embry’s sudden change in demeanor. “H-how would you know?”<br/>	“Movies.” She replied simply.<br/>	Noah rolled his eyes, “Movies aren’t real li-”<br/>	“And my friend’s sister. Apparently, she was the queen in middle school. But her friends stopped talking to her for some reason. Tons of drama blah blah blah, anyway,” She patted him on the shoulder, “Good luck, and uh, try not to make a huge fool of yourself.”<br/>	She walked back to the car and got in. He looked back one last time. His parents waved at him excitedly, and he gave them a weak wave back. They pulled out, and Noah was left by himself. A tongue reached up from his arms and licked under his chin. Right. I’m not alone. I have dude.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N Yay! The first chapter is done! Originally, I had planned to combine chapters one and two, but I liked where this ends. Thank you so much for reading and leave feedback/suggestions so I can make this better! I started writing this with no idea where it was going, but now I have a vague idea so, progress? I’m going to try updating weekly, but, uh, I’m not necessarily known for time management, despite that, I’m going to try my best.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Noah tightened his grip on his backpack as he tried to take in an adequate amount of air. “Okay Dude. Just gotta, make it past those doors.” He breathed to himself. “Can’t be too hard right?”</p><p>He took a shaky step toward the door, his heart thumping against his chest. There were only a few students outside, but one of them caught Noah's eye. They smiled and waved and he snapped his gaze to the ground. Nononono. “Please don’t come over please don’t come over please don’t come over” He chanted to himself, digging his nails into his palms.</p><p>He released his clenched fists when he realized they weren’t interested. Dude bumped his head into Noah’s leg and flung his head toward the school. Noah picked Dude off the ground and in a spur of the moment decision, he moved his heavy legs and stumbled inside the door.</p><p>The air was suffocating. There were one hundred times more people here then were out there. He froze and his whole body tensed. He was rooted to the spot, unable to take in air. It felt like someone was tightening a rope around his lungs. The anxiety was weighing down his chest and the metaphorical waves were about to pull him under. He felt something leave his arms, but he couldn’t tell what it was. Everything was blurry. Please don’t. I need to- I need to leave. I can’t, I- stop, stop. His thoughts were frantic. Something was closing in on him. Oh god, he realized it was people, but he couldn’t focus on anything long enough to do anything.</p><p>As if Dude could tell, Noah felt a tug on his arm. He was finally able to move. He followed Dude down the hall into a room and slid down the wall onto the floor. Dude nudged the door closed and proceeded to place himself on Noah’s lap.</p><p>Right. I need to- I need to breathe. He tilted his head back against the cool concrete wall and closed his eyes. Noah took deep breaths in and out, practicing what he’d done many times before. He was still tense, but the thumping of his heart had subsided and he could finally take in air.</p><p>He opened his eyes and what had happened finally dawned on him. Nonononono. “Why did I do that Dude?” He whined, “Now everyone will think I’m a fool. That was my first impression, that’s all I get, I can’t start over. They’re going to think I’m weird and-” </p><p>Dude barked and cut him off. “Right. Right. I should get to class.” Noah stood up and put a hand on the door handle. He glanced down at Dude for reassurance, which he got in the form of a bark and an attempt to jump into Noah’s arms. He picked him up off the ground and pushed open the door.</p><p>He stumbled back slightly as he entered the hallway, although only for half a second, before surging through the crowd. He held onto Dude tight as he maneuvered his way through the hall, keeping his eyes trained on the ground. He felt the anxiety start to build in his chest when a couple of people bumped into him.</p><p>“Noah!” A loud voice called from further down the hall. He couldn’t quite tell whether it was one of his friends or not, so he opted to keep his head down in fear they weren’t calling out to him.</p><p>“Noah!” This time, the voice was accompanied by a hand on his shoulder. Noah flinched slightly and looked up to see his best friend, Simon’s, face.</p><p>Relief washed over Noah, “Hey!” He exclaimed.</p><p>“Can you believe the size of this school? I got lost trying to find my way to the bathroom!” Simon recounted. Noah was glad Simon either didn’t notice the fact that he was anxious, or that he didn’t point it out. Knowing Simon, it was probably the former.</p><p>“And everyone’s so tall! They also seem so cool! Maybe if I’m cool enough, they’ll accept me into their cliques! Wow this gonna be so much fun! We’re gonna have the time of our lives here, I already know it.”</p><p>*****</p><p>“Here’s our homeroom! I heard we’re actually not going to spend that much time in here, but-”</p><p>“Oh, would you shut up already!” Amara interrupted. Simon put his hands up, showing his surrender. He had been talking Noah’s ear off ever since he found Noah. She turned her chair toward Noah. “So, how are you liking the school?”</p><p>The innocent question proved to be much more difficult to answer than he would’ve liked. He wanted to tell them what happened, he really did. He was about to tell the truth when he stopped himself. He looked over Simon’s and Amara’s face, they both looked so happy, eager smiles plastered on their face. He couldn’t plague their mood with his petty panic attack, “It’s pretty cool, really big though.”</p><p>Amara nodded at his answer, noting that he was hesitant. “Have you guys signed up for anything yet?”</p><p>“You’ve signed up for things?” Noah said in disbelief.</p><p>“Already!”</p><p>Amara rolled her eyes, “Time is money boys. I’ve already signed up for the student council, drama club, choir and leadership club. But I’ll probably sign up for more once more things are available. Gotta get those extra credits.”</p><p>“Yeah. Right.” Simon replied.</p><p>“Come on, let’s go take our seats, the bell’s going to ring in five minutes.”</p><p>Noah sat in the back, Simon was on the left side of him and Amara was on the other side of Simon. He sat there fidgeting with his hands while his two friends argued about the teacher. The classroom was about the same size as the one in Middle school, except the desks were in pairs of two. A couple of students were hanging out in the class. His eyes drifted to one group. He assumed they were in grade nine too because they were looking over maps and chatting about classes. They were on the second floor, when he looked out the window, he could see the parking lot below with a couple of upperclassmen wandering around.</p><p>To say Noah was nervous was an understatement. He was terrified. He wasn’t sure why, it should’ve been the same as middle school. He should’ve-</p><p>Brrrrring!!! The bell disrupted him from his thoughts. Students started pouring into the classroom, some familiar, some brand new faces.</p><p>Once everyone was seated, the teacher came in from the hall and closed the door. The sound of the shutting door made Noah more on edge.</p><p>“Okay, everyone! Welcome to highschool! I hope you’ve all had the chance to take a look around, but if not, no worries, we’ll take a tour later. Today we’ll probably focus on schedules and getting to know how the school works. Normally, you'll only see me, Mrs. Starrat, for report cards." She gave the class a warm smile and got a stack of papers from her desk. "I'll hand these out now and give everyone ten minutes to look over your schedule, then we'll start the day."</p><p>When Noah got his schedule, he tried looking it over before Simon snatched it out of hand.</p><p>"Nice, nice," Simon commented as he surveyed their schedules. </p><p>"Do we have the same classes?" Noah tried to peek over his shoulder.</p><p>"We only have two classes together," Simon remarked, a slight trace of disappointment present in his voice.</p><p>Noah started to panic. In previous years, he had been in all of Simon’s classes, he couldn’t be without his best friend, he wouldn’t be able to survive!</p><p>“But! That doesn’t mean we won’t be friends! Plus, it’ll be good for both of us. We’ll get to make new friends!”</p><p>Noah wasn’t as keen as Simon about making new friends. He turned back to face forward in his seat and started to fiddle with his hands again. He let out a slow breath and looked around for anything that could distract him from his thoughts. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. In and out. </p><p>He repeated the breathing exercise a few more times before Simon tapped his shoulder. He looked as if he was about to say something before his face contorted into a weird expression, “Woahhh, you okay dude? You look a little, pale”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just a little nervous that’s all.”</p><p>“Okay, well turns out Amara only has one class with us, she’s taking a whole bunch of advanced courses.”</p><p>Amara peeked out from behind Simon’s shoulder, “I want to take some university courses in grade twelve, sorry guys.”</p><p>“It’s all good. Right, Noah?”</p><p>“Y-yeah.”</p><p>They were about to say more when the teacher interrupted, “Okay guys! Enough talking, let’s get started!”</p><p>Noah tried to swallow the lump that was forming in his throat. He would know no one in three of his five courses, there were way too many people, and there was so much pressure to do things. High school is the worst.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Soooooo... heh heh. That was a long hiatus. sorry. BUT I'm back now. I completely forgot that I posted this to ao3, and I was just posting to Wattpad. the good news about that though is that I'll be able to upload a bunch of chapters within a week or so. I really hope you guys enjoy this fic, and feel free to leave feedback below! Stay home xoxo!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>